Bittersweet Ending to a Wonderful School Year

Well, today was the last day of classes for my high school students.  For the next two weeks, they will take their state exams and then it's over on June 28th.  It was a truly bittersweet end to this wonderfully busy school year.  I will miss my 11th graders as now they will transition to their senior year.  I wish you the very best.

To all my seniors, I hope you achieve everything you set out to do and become the wonderful individuals that I know you are.  If you ever need me, now that I am only a click or phone call away.

Love always,
Ms. Perez

P. S. Last words of wisdom . . .

"You must be the change you wish to see in the world."  - Gandhi

Emotional Overload: Extreme Error, Delete.

Emotional Desert

The barren landscape stretches
as far as the eye can see
The sands of time seal of life
perservering only the corpse of memories
Dry and dead no love can be found
I got lost, lost in the emotional desert
......

© By Mouthfullofpoison On 6/7/2007 12:18:16 AM

Trying to analyze one's emotions and mental state is a gut-wrenching process. It's only human to wear a mask day in and day out so that the world does not see the fragile individual lying beneath the surface.

I have spent all day wondering why do I put myself through this when the results are always the same. I shut down that part of my brain that allows me to feel and I go through the motions of work, family, and basic living. Everyone sees the bright eyed, energetic, industrious individual who is reliable, loyal and outgoing.

It is funny how no one sees the scared, shy, introverted girl who only wants to crawl under a rock and release the burden of responsibility. She cannot process her emotions because deep down she knows that she will BREAK. There is no return once a person's mental state becomes unstable. Work will mean nothing. Family will seem important but can always be dealt with later or tomorrow. Basic living is not that important when stuck in a personal mental hell.

So until then, I guess I will wake up each morning. Get the kids ready. Go to work. Kiss my husband good-bye until we meet again after work. Just like my emotions, the day to day stuff is a never ending cycle.

I wonder if anyone else ever feels this way.

Sibling Rivalry: Revisited

I wrote this two years ago . . .

Perhaps when I was younger, times and attitude were different. I remember taking care of my younger siblings. I recall ironing their school clothes on Sundays, feeding them breakfast in the morning, taking them to school and picking them up afterward.

This afternoon, my older daughter asked if she could have ice cream. I explained to her that the freezer had defrosted and she must check to see if the ice cream is edible. My younger daughter skips after her and asks if she could have ice cream. My older daughter yells, "No. Get out of here. Leave me alone." Of course, as all little children do, my younger daughter ran to my room and asked for ice cream. I was perplexed to say the least. I had to call my older daughter and explain the idea of "Am I my brother's [in this case 'sister's'] keeper."

This was a daunting situation. I had to explain to my older daughter, in great detail, that the younger one is only five years old. She must have everything explained to her. Would it have been too difficult to tell her, "I am going to check if the ice cream is good. If it is, I will give you some. If it's not, then it must be thrown in the garbage." I discussed this issue with my older daughter. Her expression told me all. Not one ounce of what we discussed entered her brain. She feels the victim.

I had forgotten how self-centered teenagers can be.

Everything has changed.  I have a new refrigerator that works and actually freezes food.  *jumps for joy*  The younger one is now seven and the older one is now fourteen.  Their relationship has not improved.  However, now the little one gives the attitude right back to the older sister.  Will they ever get along?

Decadent, Delectable Dessert

D is a good letter.  Gotta love the Tossing It Out A-Z Challenge. Yesterday I went to Rocco's Italian Bakery on Bleeker Street and Carmine.  This is only a six block walk from my job and I have to say well worth it.  I bought my friend/ co-worker a birthday cake since she kept saying "It's my birthday!"  Her cake was a chocolate mousse filling and buttercream frosting.  Ooh, I was so bad and had a piece but I couldn't help it.  Look . . .

Then, I had the nerve to buy a half pound of Italian cookies.  Oh the travesty . . .

After this, I spotted the red velvet cupcakes.  Between the smell of sugar sweet cookies and the waft of coffee in the air, I could not decide what to do.  My senses were bombarded with devilish temptation.  I bought the lot of them and lugged my goodies back to work.  However, I gave my children the Italian cookies so check plus for me!  I gave my youngest and my husband the red velvet cupcakes.  Has my husband eaten his cupcake?  No.  It is sitting in my fridge calling me to come hither and taste its delectable, decadent goodness.  What to do?  What to do?

*faints*



Red Velvet Cupcake Image

Chocolate Mousse Cake

Italian Cookies

Chaos, Crazy and Cockamamie

Well, of course, I did it again.  Forgot to post for Tossing It Out's A-Z Challenge.  So, I will just talk "craziness" for the next 100 or so words and call this post done.  Here we go-

My students have a habit of saying, "Real Talk, Miss."  I have no idea what real talk entails.  Therefore, I told them that tomorrow I expected Fake Talk.  *rolls eyes*

I am trying to buy a home.  I have called the housing counselor, the lawyer, the auctioneers auctioning the property, and the municipal credit union.  Of course no able body could come to the phone, so I got the automoton or voicemail.  No one has called back as of yet!  Bumbling boobs.  Oh wait, that was the topic of the day before.  *lights candle*

My children won't stop bickering.  There are times I just want to take their heads and bang them together like they do in Tom and Jerry cartoons.  Do I do this, NO!  I patiently listen to each cockamamie story and then mediate a solution that either of them could have devised themselves.  They fight worse than the two polar bears above.  *dies*

Quality Review this week is driving every single teacher in my school crazy.  Bulletin boards are being revamped.  Student work is nothing but a frenzy of grading and my desk looks like the Greek God Chaos stopped by for a visit.  *faints*


And just because:

 

All images from Wikimedia Commons.

Bumbling, Babbling Boob

Yes, I am calling myself a boob because . . . . . . I totally did not post on A day for the A-Z Challenge. So today's post is all about bumbling and babbling. I am in the process of getting my husband back in school and making sure he stays until he gets his degree.

I am still house hunting but now I even include condos. I hadn't considered them since I was really looking for the "American Dream" home. I am also boggled down at work. Hhmm, boggled, should have put that in the title too. I cancelled my trip to for spring break since I will need a hefty down payment plus pay for closing costs should I get the property. :(

I digress, work is like a freaking zoo frenzy. Oh, wait, I can save the frenzy for F day. :D The state will be in to review our progress and we will also be graded by the city's school superintendent's office (Quality Review). More on that by Wednesday.

My children are doing well but my eldest is feeling the crunch of his 11th year (3rd year of high school). With exams quickly approaching, he is now required to go to school on Saturdays for test prep. My two daughters are plodding along and receiving good grades. I hope all stays along that path or else I will no longer be able to post (I will have died from insanity).

Well that is all I have time for today. Must finish my blog post for the Burrow and continue house-hunting.

A is for Absent

This is just an absentee post since yet again I missed the beginning of the Tossing It Out A-Z challenge!

A-Z Challenge

Tomorrow begins the Tossing it Out's "A-Z challenge" and I have courageously entered as a participant. Crazy, yes. With my already limited spare time, I am trying to organize my works in progress and create a schedule where I'll actually have time to sit down and WRITE!

It isn't easy being a mother, wife, daughter, sister, teacher, and everything under the sun. However, this is for me! This is for fun! Click on the link and join us in this melee of madness, (Ooh, I could use that for my "M" day). I look forward to reading other participant's entries. :D

Write for Japan!

I was listening to the news yesterday, something I try to do every so often.  We New Yorkers tend to be absorbed in our own affairs and not really cognizant of the global village.  *winks*  I heard of the failing nuclear reactors, the never-ending search for loved ones, the constant aftershocks and the ever-mounting debris.  It broke my heart.  I couldn't imagine being in that situation- perhaps displaced, desolate and despondent?  My heart goes out to those suffering in Japan and I know that they have not requested aid but I donated to the Red Cross anyway . . . just in case.



Drabble- story told in 100 words.

Here are some links for Write for Japan!

Just Love

Sometimes, I really do not like you.  There are times when your obnoxious behavior is absolutely cannot be condoned.  The snide remarks, lack of anger management and use of profanity is unacceptable.  As a child, you were sweet, loving, optimistic and open-minded.  As an adult, for lack of better words, you really suck.  Not once did you come see me when I was sick in the hospital.  But you made sure to stop by on payday, didn't you! However, you are my blood and I love you unconditionally.  I will bail you out this time, if only just for love.

Please visit our Valentine's Feature at The Burrow!