Illness and Clarity

Image courtesy of Wikimedia Commons: Charles De Groux001

There is nothing like illness that gives you the sharpest of reality checks.  Today, I had a really difficult time breathing.  I didn't think my asthma so severe since the last time I had an attack was about a year ago.  Last week, I had the flu- coughing, runny/ stuffy nose, three days of fever, congestion and wheezing.  Well, here I am 10 days later and I still have some chills, aches but the wheezing is worse than ever.  I go to the urgicenter and then a whirlwind of activity commence when the doctor reads my SpO2 levels (94% oxygen) and hears the struggle for air in my lungs accompanied by the loud whistling when exhaling.  Four nebulizer treatments later with a strong dose of prednisone and chest x-rays, it is determined that it's not pneumonia.  Whew!  Dodge that bullet.  However, I'm still wheezing just not as bad.  I got to go home and relax.  But let me tell you, if it gets worse, I'm going to the hospital and skipping the urgicenter altogether.  I am quite frankly scared about lungs for the first time in 5 years.

New Beginnings- 2018

*dusts off the cobwebs*

It's been quite some time since I have been on this thing.  Need to get a hang of it again.  

*deep breath*

Here we go . . .

Cosmic Winter Wonderland, courtesy of NASA.

January 1st.  New year, new beginnings, right?  Well, normally I don't make any resolutions.  They often turn into broken promises that diminish my self-esteem by the end of February.  It has been a difficult three years.  I have had major changes in my career, health and financial stability.  Some of the negative items were out of my control, however, I did contribute to a portion of my anguish.  So here I am.  Baring my soul after three, no make that, four years of suffering.  My plan- to be a better version of me.

Step 1- Be kind.  I truly believe in karma.  The energy you put out in the universe will eventually return to you.  I know that I have not been the best human I could possibly be.  I plan to make amends with family, friends and people in general.  Most of all, I need to learn to be kind to myself.  I am my own worst nemesis.  It's time to stop punishing myself for all the wrongs in my life and begin to make different choices.  

Step 2- Make healthier life choices.  This applies to a number of aspects in my life from food to exercise to personal life decisions.  I plan to take a breath, think and then choose the best option for myself/ family.

Step 3- Begin the climb out of financial debt.  I'm not in real trouble yet but I can feel the constraints when it comes to my finances.  It's time to pay down the credit cards, pay off the student loans and increase my financial freedom.  I want to breathe again.  

I think that's all I can handle for 2018.  Here's to hoping that I don't fizzle out by the end of February.  :)

Grandma

Grandma

So, I could not think of a better come back than to write about my grandmother.  Last night, I dreamed about her.  It's funny because she has been gone since August of 2013.  It was a rough year for everyone in my family.  Grandma was the glue that held everyone together.  Now we are scattered like autumn leaves in the wind.  Some in my family are grieving openly.   While others, like myself have buried the hurt until it manifests in a different, almost virtual form.  But I digress . . .

My dream has no beginning and no end.  I just remember seeing my grandmother, smiling up at me from her wheelchair, up against a calming, light blue wall.  She is radiant and gorgeous.  The only flaw is her upper dentures that do not sit quite, causing her smile to be somewhat lopsided.  Grandma is in her floral nightgown and her hair is a golden blond.  Her presence is palpable and warmth emanates from her very essence.  She is holding out her arms to me.  I try to hug her but am prevented by an invisible force.  The harder I try, the more distant she becomes.  And then finally, she fades away, still smiling at me.  I want to scream, "No, wait.  I love you."  But she is gone and all I am left with is a feeling of bittersweet emptiness.  


Rest in Peace

Blanca Iris Santana
February 9, 1937- August 28, 2013

A-Z April 2013 Challenge: Twin Towers

This is part of the April 2013 A-Z Challenge.  Enjoy!

Twin Towers

It was cold and bright that morning on September 11, 2001.  Students rushed in speaking of unimaginable events.  A plane hit the Twin Towers.  Ridiculous.  Or so I thought.  Time was a blur, helping students to reach their parents.  I was one of the last to leave the school.  Walked to the Staten Island Ferry.  Acrid smoke in the air.  Hard to breathe.  Dust and ash on my clothes and shoes.  So tired and thirsty.  I was the last person to reach home that night.  But at least I was able to go home that day.  So many did not.

Drabble- n. story told in exactly 100 words.

A-Z April 2013 Challenge: Illness

This is part of the April 2013 A-Z Challenge.  Enjoy!

Hi all.  This post is bittersweet.  I tried to do the challenge and even had the first week set up beforehand.  However, I find that I presently can't keep up with the commenting and general upkeep of the blog.  I've been ill for some time now.  I'm trying to manage my diabetes, high blood pressure and asthma.  It's difficult to strike a balance between home, work, school and writing.  So for now, I must put blogging on the back-burner.  Once I'm done with school and work settles down, I can resume the pleasure of blogging.  Until then my friends, peace and long life.   

*This isn't really a drabble as it is three words over but meh.

Drabble- n. a story told in exactly 100 words.

A-Z April 2013 Challenge: Higgs Boson

This is part of the April 2013 A-Z Challenge.  Enjoy!

Higgs Boson

A-Z April 2013 Challenge: Green Vineyard at Ithaca

This is part of the April 2013 A-Z Challenge.  Enjoy!

Green Vineyard at Ithaca

As I walk through the vineyard, I can't help but be reminded of your green smoldering eyes caressing my body. Your touch is so exquisitely delicate and full of infinite passion. I daydream of the next time your arms are around me, crushing me in a warm embrace.

I hear voices in the distance; the moans increase to a crescendo.

"Marta . . ."

"John . . ."

Recognizing your voice, I quietly walk down the path and peer through the vines. Yours eyes meet mine; her eyes also.

I whisper . . . "How could you?"

I run through the green haze and collapse in despair.

A-Z April 2013 Challenge: Sheldon L. Cooper's Fun with Flags

This is part of the April 2013 A-Z Challenge.  Enjoy!

Flags

Hello, this is Chary Perez signing in for Dr. Sheldon Cooper.  He is unavailable at the moment as Amy Farrah Fowler, his girlfriend, is holding him to the relationship agreement.  

Now on to the excitement of Flag Facts.  Today's topic is the United Nations.  I have only been to this location once.  However, the sound of the flags waving in the wind is exhilarating.  Did you know that the United Federation of Planets flag is quite similar to the United Nations flag?  Here take a look:

UN Flag

Interesting isn't it.  Set phasers to fun!  This is Chary Perez signing off.  

Drabble- n. a story told in exactly 100 words.

A-Z April 2013 Challenge: Egypt

This is part of the April 2013 A-Z Challenge.  Enjoy!

Egypt

Two years ago, my friend and co-teacher, Jan traveled to Egypt with her son.  She described it as the most enlightening experience she has had to date.  She sailed on the glistening Nile River, rode a camel and gazed upon the Great Pyramids at Giza.  I envy her. I would love to experience authentic Egyptian cuisine.  Jan did caution me about the water.  Consequently, she fell ill shortly after the trip.  She said that she drank bottled water.   But, one evening she drank an alcoholic beverage containing ice.  The ice was not filtered.  Hopefully, I will not make that mistake.  :)

Happy Birthday Jan L. Scott!

Drabble- n. a story told in exactly 100 words.

A-Z April 2013 Challenge: Decadent, Delectable Desserts

This is a throwback!  I wrote it about two or three years ago, memory is a little foggy so don't quote me on that!  This is part of the April 2013 A-Z Challenge.  Enjoy!

D is a good letter.  Gotta love the A-Z Challenge. Yesterday I went to Rocco's Italian Bakery on Bleeker Street and Carmine.  This is only a six block walk from my job and I have to say well worth it.  I bought my friend/ co-worker a birthday cake since she kept saying "It's my birthday!"  Her cake was a chocolate mousse filling and buttercream frosting.  Ooh, I was so bad and had a piece but I couldn't help it.  Look . . .

Then, I had the nerve to buy a half pound of Italian cookies.  Oh the travesty . . .

After this, I spotted the red velvet cupcakes.  Between the smell of sugar sweet cookies and the waft of coffee in the air, I could not decide what to do.  My senses were bombarded with devilish temptation.  I bought the lot of them and lugged my goodies back to work.  However, I gave my children the Italian cookies so check plus for me!  I gave my youngest and my husband the red velvet cupcakes.  Has my husband eaten his cupcake?  No.  It is sitting in my fridge calling me to come hither and taste its delectable, decadent goodness.  What to do?  What to do?

*faints*

This is two drabbles (100 words each).  :)

Red Velvet Cupcake Image

Chocolate Mousse Cake

Italian Cookies