Friday, April 2, 2010

Down the Rabbit-hole

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Down the Rabbit Hole

Ever feel like you are spirally downward and you cannot stop. Well, that is exactly how my writing feels lately. I write and write but it doesn't seem like quality writing. It is more like an automatic response to an internal mechanism that requires immediate satisfaction. I found myself questioning what is the purpose? This lead to my usual method of problem solving for an answer: make a list of facts, figure the pros/ cons, make a decision as to a course of action.

1. I LOVE writing whether academically, for pleasure, or simply to add organization to my personal life. It is a passion that I developed as an adult, ironically. I had a life-time of teachers who stated that my writing was mediocre. However, it took that one professor in college, Professor Ed Hack, that believed there was something about my writing that would not only propel me to heights I never thought attainable, but who fostered and facilitated a means of expressing myself in a different forum. Not bad for a girl from the Boogie Down Bronx (NYC).

2. Pros- I want to do something that is not only worthwhile and fulfilling (aside from teaching), and LOVE writing (redundant, I know but very true). Cons- takes time away from friends and family, and little time for anything else.

3. It is apparent that what I lack is balance. I am one of those people who must give their all to one thing at a time. Recently, I dedicated much of my time applying for graduate school so that I can acquire my second Master's degree (Neuroscience- Developmental Disabilities and Mental Retardation). Ambitious, yes, but something that I know I would really find satisfying. Mind you, I am a happily married mother of three who teaches special education students in a general education New York City high school. In other words, my equilibrium is shot to hell!

Through the Looking Glass

However, there must be a solution and this is what I came up with: I have to work and take care of my family during the week as my husband is going to school and most of the family obligations fall on me. During the weekends, will be my team to catch up with writing, respond to blogs, possibly post a blog and network. Sound simple. Well only time will tell.

In the mean time, any suggestions, for perfecting this simple plan, are welcome.

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  1. No solutions, Chary. But I do know that if you try to do too many things (as you do), some things are going to get neglected. The only thing I can say with certainty is that when you are ready to write, really, really, really ready, the words will write themselves.

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  6. Hi Chary - yes, I know exactly what you mean. I've restricted my blogging to threee times a week at the most. I try to just show up when I can and if I make deadlines for myself that is helpful. I'm in a two week lull while my current wip sits and cures! So I'm catching up on blogs and gardening and just hanging out. I work too and have step-kids, bio-kids and grand-kids so life is FULL. Sometimes I think procrastination is just a way of saying that my heart isn't in this particular project. So find your sweet spot and write from it. I would love to hear more about your growing up - your brother Gilbert you do memoir?