Monday, May 16, 2011

Emotional Overload: Extreme Error, Delete.

Emotional Desert

The barren landscape stretches
as far as the eye can see
The sands of time seal of life
perservering only the corpse of memories
Dry and dead no love can be found
I got lost, lost in the emotional desert

© By Mouthfullofpoison On 6/7/2007 12:18:16 AM

Trying to analyze one's emotions and mental state is a gut-wrenching process. It's only human to wear a mask day in and day out so that the world does not see the fragile individual lying beneath the surface.

I have spent all day wondering why do I put myself through this when the results are always the same. I shut down that part of my brain that allows me to feel and I go through the motions of work, family, and basic living. Everyone sees the bright eyed, energetic, industrious individual who is reliable, loyal and outgoing.

It is funny how no one sees the scared, shy, introverted girl who only wants to crawl under a rock and release the burden of responsibility. She cannot process her emotions because deep down she knows that she will BREAK. There is no return once a person's mental state becomes unstable. Work will mean nothing. Family will seem important but can always be dealt with later or tomorrow. Basic living is not that important when stuck in a personal mental hell.

So until then, I guess I will wake up each morning. Get the kids ready. Go to work. Kiss my husband good-bye until we meet again after work. Just like my emotions, the day to day stuff is a never ending cycle.

I wonder if anyone else ever feels this way.

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